Intimacy with God Through Prayer

In The Brothers Karamazov, Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote, “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” This is the central issue of life. It is the question that drives human hearts: What is the purpose of my life? It is no wonder Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, has sold thirty million copies and become the second most translated book (after the Bible). People all over the world crave an understanding of their purpose. They want to know the deeper why of their existence that makes the ups and downs of life worth navigating. The apostle Paul, too, asked this question, and he found his answer in one thing—knowing Christ: “I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil. 3:8). Discovering the great value in relationship with Christ, Paul decided to make knowing Christ his ultimate purpose in life: “For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly” (Philippians 3:10 AMPC).

Intimacy with Jesus was the one thing Paul lived for. It was the great pulse of his life, keeping him alive and giving his life meaning. Paul was called by God to do many important things. Yet at his core, Paul’s central purpose, around which all those other callings revolved, was an intimate relationship with Jesus. As Paul travelled, evangelized, preached, planted churches, discipled leaders, and wrote letters, he knew none of those good works could give his life meaning apart from Christ. What mattered most was simply love—knowing God’s love and loving Him back. So, even though Paul lived a very busy life, he made sure to build his relationship with God by spending time with Him. His prayer for the believers in the church at Ephesus shows us the priority Paul put on intimacy with God: “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better” (Ephesians 1:17). Paul prayed they would understand the importance of learning to know God better. He was not speaking of head knowledge (knowing about God) but of heart knowledge, the kind of intimate knowledge shared by close friends and lovers. This is the end result of both wisdom and revelation—a deeper relationship with God. Several chapters later, Paul continued his prayer, this time highlighting the knowledge of the love of Christ: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19). He longed for them to experience what he had experienced. He prayed that they too would jump into the ocean of Christ’s love, where they would begin to know the inexpressible and be filled to overflowing with it. In this prayer, we see the depth of intimacy that Paul had cultivated in his own devotional life. The fact is, we cannot have intimacy with God without prayer, and we cannot have genuine prayer that does not produce intimacy with God. The two come together. Intimacy involves a close personal relationship, warm friendship developed through long association. In other words, it doesn’t just happen overnight. It grows through time spent together, through meaningful interaction and shared experiences. This can happen when we involve God in our day-to-day lives (what I call continual inward prayer), but it happens most in the context of secret prayer. If we don’t spend time alone with God, our relationship with Him will be shallow. It’s like marriage. A husband and wife grow in intimacy through living together and experiencing the ups and downs of life side by side, but if that’s the extent of their relationship, their connection will be shallow. They also need one-on-one time when they can share their hearts and learn about each other. Couples who connect like this on a regular basis build a strong relationship that is not easily shaken. This is the goal of time alone with God—to know Him.